- other people: I hate sleeping alone. Ugh hold my hand. Kiss me. Cuddle me. Lets do everything together. I need you so much closer. Let's fuck like animals. I love youuUu
- me: This isn't Auschwitz, Im not sharing my bed. Stop holding my hand, I can't walk like this and you're spreading my fingers too wide, it hurts. Kissing is spitting in the palm of your hand and then taking your other hand and mashing it into the other. Stop holding me, I can't breathe or move freely. I want to do stuff alone cause that way I don't have to give a shit if you're enjoying it. Why don't you go on vacation for a few weeks? Put it in while Im sleeping, god help you if you wake me. You're okay, just sit over there.
This always happen. I finally push myself out of the abusive relationship, hating how he’s treated me, how he’s made me felt, how he still makes me feel. Like I’m worthless, not good enough for his standards, not good enough to try to fix things. But I always come back to missing him as a person. Missing all his phenomenal features as a person and all his great qualities. Then I go back to realizing he’s a fucking shit person who continuously called me names and disrespected me. When will the cycle end? Soon, please, I hope to god.